Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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