..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
