Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
