i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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