She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
