What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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