One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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