She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
