I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
