We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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