mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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