New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i think my cat just said my name.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
