I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
