Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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