no, he came in my armpit
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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