i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
