i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
