I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
