I just saw a hot homeless man
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
