Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize