What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
