Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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