I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
