sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
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