I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
