There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
