I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
