This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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