That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
