I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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