Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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