you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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