he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
