i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
