Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
