so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
