What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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