I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
