I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
