so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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