i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
