I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
