He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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