No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
