just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
