So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
