I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
