I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
