my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
