Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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