We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
