New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
