This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
