i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Blood and glitter go together right?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
