one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
